Life Support

I was chatting with a friend recently and realized that we had a common malady.  We would often go the extra mile for friend or colleague in need meanwhile short changing ourselves in the process.

The more I pondered this self-sabotaging behavior the more aware I became of how much this has gotten out of hand.  The need to please others has become so commonplace that we often put our own goals and dreams on the back burner as to support others in their endeavors.

I am not saying that we should turn into selfish beings but to become self-full.  In others words put the oxygen mask on yourself so that you can help others.  The truth is that when your tank is empty and you cannot breathe for giving all of yourself to someone else you are in no shape to support either you or them in the life you are called to lead.

Declare today the day that you breathe in the fullness of you and give to yourself first!

 If your oxygen mask drops down, it's time to take a breather! ~ Richard Simmons

Falling

The other day I had an interesting experience.  I took a hard fall in the parking lot of our local shopping center.  What was remarkable wasn’t the fall itself but my reaction to falling in public.  I was thoroughly embarrassed.  As those around rushed to my aid, I tried to say I was fine while hurting.  I could barely look anyone in the eye as I tried to compose myself.

As I contemplated the fall later that day, I had to laugh at myself as I realized this was a teachable moment and I became both student and teacher.

For you see I realized that there is no shame when we fall, There’s is usually a valuable lesson for us to learn about why we fell, mine was simply not paying attention on what I was doing  only worrying about the next thing on my list.  Yet had I taken a moment to observe my surroundings I might have had a different outcome.

I also pondered the fact that I was embarrassed because I fell.  Seriously?  Yes, people looked at me.  Oh, the horror, they rushed over in care and concern.  Yes, once again because I felt that I was invincible I didn’t want the help.  Truthfully, we all need help some of us just don’t know how to ask for it or how to receive help graciously when it is given.

It made me think about babies when they are learning to walk.  They crawl, stumble, and fall in the pursuit of their goal…Learning to walk.  This is a perfect analogy for life.  Yes we may need to crawl before we take that first big step, we may stumble on our journey and trust me, falling almost always seems to be a requirement.  However, if you pick yourself up, take any help that is offered to you, try again…  You will rise.

When I'm not afraid to fail, I won’t. When I'm not afraid to fall down, falling down won't feel like failure. I have fallen down enough to get more comfortable with it, to know how productive it can be, how necessary it is to growth. Still, when I sense the ground beneath me giving way, I have to remind myself that it's OK if I falter. I have to remind myself that it's more than OK!~Jan Denise

Stop and Smell the Roses

On a recent walk, I passed a neighbor’s house and a rose waved to me in the sunlight. I could not help it; I had to stop to sniff the beautiful scent of the rose. The rose gave me a magnificent gift that day, as it beckoned me to enjoy her beautiful aroma.

Another couple walking towards me saw what I had done, and yelled out, “That’s the spirit, stop and smell the roses, we never take time to that.” I joyously laughed and as they passed me, they too, stopped to inhale the beauty of the rose.

As I continued on my walk, I began to ponder the phrase stop and smell the roses. We often do not take time to enjoy simple pleasures. We live in such a hurried and harried society, running in many different directions at once. Mores the pity, that such a simple thing to do seemed like such a novelty that day.

I promised myself to make time for more moments like the one I experienced that day. I urge you to make a pledge today, to stop and enjoy the moment at hand and if you see a rose waving at you…Stop and say hello!

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. ~Ben Hogan

Wealthy Beyond Compare

I had an interesting conversation with friends recently. As we were kvetching about the state of our personal finances, I said that I needed to work through money issues. My friend gently bitch slapped me into reality and told me how wealthy I was.

As I was forced not to look inside my wallet but into the core of my being, I came to the realization of how true it is. It is so easy to get sucked into the “Ain’t it Awful Club” and participate in the general lamenting of the economy and the ills of the world.

Truth be told it is much more difficult to buck that trend and stand in my truth. I am wealthy when it comes to knowing my purpose in life, pursuing my dreams, and living each day to its fullest.

Yeah, I am wealthy indeed. I thank God for the Abundance of knowing my true self-worth and I am blessed to have friends to call me on it when I steer off course.

Today, I declare to all of you I am spiritually wealthy, my cup overflows, and I give thanks and praise. Peace

Happiness comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth... Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it. ~ John Templeton

Happy Hanukkah

As this year's celebration of Hanukkah comes to a close, it is the perfect time to reflect on miracles. Hanukkah is the observance of the miracles that G-d can provide.

The Maccabees miracle was because they had oil was sufficient to light the Menorah only for one day. By G-d's miracle, it continued to burn for eight days, until new oil was made available. That miracle proved that G-d had again taken His people under His protection.

By having absolute faith in G-d I know that miracles do occur.

Do You Believe?

To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle; Every cubic inch of space is a miracle. ~Walt Whitman Leaves of Grass

Clearing Up Misperceptions

I had the chance to watch the Oprah show yesterday in which she celebrated the 25^th anniversary of the Color Purple. What struck me was the conversation between Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg at the beginning of the episode. They spoke about how they cleared up a perceived misunderstanding they had when each thought the other one was upset with them.

I was impressed at the honesty of the moment and thought how many of us go through life and we do not clear up misunderstandings. We waste years on holding grievances, when a clear and direct question "Are you upset with me" or "Did I do something to offend you" would clear the way for honest dialogue.

One must be really brave to ask that question. Because what if the person answers yes, you offended me. How do you handle that? You have to stay strong, and just listen to them. To the best of your ability, make a sincere effort to clear up the misunderstanding. It takes even greater courage to say I am sorry.

Today, I encourage you to take that brave step and have an honest conversation.

In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry. ~Margaret Laurence

Saying Goodbye

This weekend, I had to take my cat Boo Bear in to be put to sleep. He was a wonderful animal and had lived a long full life. He was 16 ½ years old when he died.

I am left with wonderful memories and the comfort that he lived well. His journey with me was now at an end. I realized that grieving is for the living and not for the one who is gone. I knew I had to make the decision to either let him linger in pain or assist him peacefully on his journey home.

As I sit here, reminiscing of the times we shared, I am able to reflect on the wonderful gift of unconditional love and friendship that he gave me. I give thanks for the memories and wish him eternal peace.

“I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.” ~ Jules Verne

¿What gifts do you share?

Today is the Feast day of the Three Kings. They were the three wise men who came to honor the Baby Jesus. In days of old; frankincense, gold, and myrrh were precious and they honored him with their presence and their gifts.

It made me wonder about the gifts that we have, and how do we honor our spirit and our selves. Do you have the gift of laughter, the gift of comfort, the gift of joy, the gift of sharing, the gift of truth, the gift of friendship? Whatever your gift I hope you are sharing it with others so that they may fully experience the wonder that is you?

Use your gifts, spread your wings, and let those around you know that you honor them by sharing a bit of yourself? The feast of the three kings is a great reminder to use our gifts wisely.

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."-Kahlil Gibran, philosopher-

Dreaming into Action 2010

I wish you all the best to make 2010 an amazing year. The first of the year is filled with so much promise. I ask you to make this promise to yourself…. to take action on your dreams. This is the year to achieve your goals.

I encourage you to move in a positive direction, and dare to be the person that you want to be. The slate is clean. Make the commitment today to take action on your dreams. There is no obstacle in your path but you. Let the history of your past be your motivation for your future. Many of us start the year with New Year’s resolutions and then forget about them. Don’t do that this year.

Your future is bright. Your dreams that are shimmering in the distance are waiting for you to grab them, Go for It!

“Reach high, for the stars lie hidden in your
soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.” Pamela Vaull Starr

Healing From Hurt

When you are hurt emotionally, how do you heal? The other day I looked at an old scratch on my hand, which I received from my cat when he was a kitten. The scar had faded into the skin but it is still there. It got me to thinking about the emotional scars that we carry around with us. I realized that I had emotional scar tissue that needed to fade into the background.

When we are hurt we put protective barriers around are emotions so that others won’t hurt us the same way. We build emotional scar tissue. One of my favorite phrases use to be “Oh, I’ve forgiven them, but I will never forget it. The reality was that every time I said that phrase I built more emotional scar tissue around my heart and refused to let it fade.

It is something that I am working on and it isn’t easy. However, when we release the pain from our minds we are able to free our hearts. Our hearts are able to pulsate easier. We breathe better. We sleep better. Our minds are free and can grasp the lessons that we have learned. For out of every storm comes a new ray of light. Use it to purify your soul. Truly forgive the people who hurt you, release their spirit to the universe, and move on to a new day.

“In our lives there is bound to come some pain, surely as there are storms and falling rain; just believe that the one who holds the storms will bring the sun.” Unknown

Empty “Sorries”

Lately the news has been filled with stories about politicians, celebrities, and athletes apologizing for bad behavior or inappropriate comments. It occurred to me that these apologies are empty. The truth is more likely than not, they are sorry they were caught, or sorry that other people didn’t like what they did. These weak apologies are often followed by even weaker excuses for bad behavior. Just once, I would like people to stand behind their bad behavior and not give out an empty sorry.

As a child, I learned this lesson from my mother. She would never accept just sorry as an apology. She would ask the question, “What are you sorry for?” When the question is posed in that manner the truth really comes out. Usually I was sorry that I was caught at whatever I was supposed to be apologizing for but I really wasn’t sorry for what I said or did.

This childhood lesson has really helped me as an adult. A sincere apology comes from the heart. The feeling of remorse and the sense that you caused true emotional pain to another person affects your spirit. When you apologize you should mean it from the core of your being or don’t bother to offer it. Sorry really is the hardest word.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~Kimberly Johnson

¿Are You Somebody?

Recently, I taught a class and afterwards a student asked me, if I had resource name to back up a statement I made. I said, “Yes, that resource is me.” He then asked me if I could quote somebody who was famous, a celebrity, or well known. I reiterated, “yes, me.”

He was so shocked that I confidently stood beside my name and my statement. I said yes, I am somebody. You can choose to heed my words or not, the choice is yours. I am my credible source because the story is mine.

He was so startled that I said that I was somebody; he did not have a comeback. I thought to myself that so often we look for validation on who we are from other people.

Boldly and confidently, declare to the world

you know who you are.

You are somebody!

"I am larger, better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness."-Walt Whitman

¿What’s Your Legacy?

Listening to the memorial tributes of Senator Ted Kennedy, I realized the impact of his legacy. There was many a tale of him assisting the person on the street with whatever was their particular concern. He helped my family with immigration, Vietnam veteran issues, and even donated his staff to work on one of my charity events.

You know they say that dead men tell no tales. This makes me pose the question, what will be your legacy?

“I may be here for a short while, gone tomorrow into oblivion or until the days come to take me away. But, in whatever part you play, be remembered as part of a legacy...of sharing dreams and changing humanity for the better. It's that legacy that never dies” author unknown

A Humble Walk

Yesterday I was walking through Boston during a rainstorm. This in itself was a difficult feat for me because I have rheumatoid arthritis. I was achy and hobbling downtown with my bag and a cup of coffee. I was not in the greatest of moods.

That changed after an experience humbled me and gave me a new perspective on life. As I was hobbling along, I passed a homeless man sitting on the wet curbside. I glanced his way but truth be told did not want to make real eye contact. I was not in a position to give him money at the moment and frankly I was also feeling a little sorry for myself as I walked with difficulty through the rain.

Then it happened. This gentle man turned to me and said “sister friend, you take care of that leg of yours okay". Wow, that powerful statement from a man that most of us deem invisible moved me to tears. In that moment, I recognized the spirit of God and the light that shines in those who society has forgotten.

“There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us, that it doesn’t behoove any of us to speak about the rest of us."

Celebrating Daddy

Yes, I was Daddy’s Little Girl. I miss my father very much and as we approach Father’s Day, I thought I would take a moment to honor his memory. People tease me and tell me that I often call my mother”the saint,” but I don’t talk enough about my dad. He is a hard man to describe or fit into a stereotypical box.

My father was the epitome of a strong, proud, Jamaican male. His wisdom and insight was something to behold. He was never one to suffer fools lightly. However, as his youngest child, he always made time for me. Some people might even say I was his favorite and I would have to agree.

One of my favorite memories was the time he got me out of school early to go to a Red Sox game. It was total father daughter time, no moms allowed. He showed me by example, that a man should adore a woman, treat her right, bring flowers to make her smile, or hold them out as an apology, and read everything and anything you can get your hands on.

No, he wasn't perfect… but let’s be real, who is. When a man can cherish the time he spends with his daughter, it helps to set an awesome foundation. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

I love my father as the stars - he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. ~Adabella Radici

Hunger’s Hope Is You!

In these challenging economic times, there are so many of our neighbors who may be going hungry, in order to pay their bills, keep a roof over their head, while striving to provide for their families.

Today, I ask that you do your part to help those in need. There are simple ways to do it. You can volunteer at your local food pantry or donate several food items to a local food bank.

Want to make a greater impact? Be a silent angel and find someone in your community who may be in need and give a gift card to a grocery store or a bag of groceries anonymously.

Count your blessings for what you have, for even if to you it may seem little…. to others you may have much. For within your ability to do your part, you have given hope to those in need.
Peace!

If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” Mother Teresa

Happy Earth Day!!!

In recognition of Earth Day, I ask you to do your part to make our world a better place. It’s up to all of us to take care of our planet.

The earth is yours so treat it gently with kind and loving care!

“The earth is what we all have in common.” Wendell Barry

Kaleidoscopes

I love kaleidoscopes! When you look through them, you see all sorts of designs that have interesting shapes and vivid color. Shouldn’t life be like that? So that when you open your eyes to the unforeseen, your mind is able to see things you would never have imagined.

I urge you to take a walk and look around you and keep your eyes open for the unexpected. I can guarantee that in a daily walk around your neighborhood, your home, or even through your own mind, you will bump into something new. Look with wonder for all new possibilities!

At the height of laughter, the universe is
flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. Jean Houston

Happy New Year

2009 Welcomes YOU! With your entrance into the New Year, you crossed over into a world of new promises, paths unknown, and a road to new horizons. May your year be filled with all your hope and dreams. Peace

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Reflections

As we get ready to ring in the New Year, this is a perfect time to be reflective. How was your year? Did you manifest all your hopes and dreams? Or, were some of your dreams deferred?

The strength of your dreams is that there isn’t a time limit. You have the power of the universe behind you of unlimited time and space to turn your dreams into reality.

Whatever happened this year, make use of the life lessons you learned and get a jumpstart on the New Year. Use the power of the past to propel your actions for next year. I urge you to live your best year yet!

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland